A self-unloved!

A self-unloved!
Self-love such a "cliché'" some say, but it is not. Last night, my brother passed away; he was three years younger than me. I watched and experienced him live in chaos his entire life, destroying all that was beautiful and good in his life all because he did not love himself.

He had many addictions, the main one was alcohol, he started drinking at a very young age. Alcohol like 'everything' in life, creeps in on you and takes you over, changes the chemistry in your body, mind, and spirit. Eventually, my brother's drinking became his method of self-medication; to escape his deep pain and suffering he lived with since a young boy.

 When I asked him why he drank; he said it took him away from himself and gave him a sense of feeling safe, powerful, and self-confidence, he would say, "I am on top of the world," that was his exact expression. I knew it was to escape his life, to escape the pain he was enduring within.

 Without getting into the details of my brother's life. In the earlier years, his late twenties, my early thirties. He was already showing signs of life that will eventually spiral down. The seeds of an unloved-self were being planted and watered in alcohol. As I revisit the memories of his life, I can see clearly that all the watering of love I or anyone could give wasn't the antidote to the love he needed to give himself. God only knows we all worked to make him better, but there is NO 'making' anyone better. Maybe we do it for ourselves so we can feel better so we can continue to be around. The truth is, none of us know what is best for anyone; it's an inside job.

There were so many times he wanted to quit drinking and get his life together, I so believed him, and so did he, but the patterned repeated itself too many times, my hope turned into anger, helplessness, and despair.

Back then I did not have that much knowledge about the depths of what alcoholism was, with the exception that I wanted to get away from it, our father was a drinker.

Bringing alcoholism and the behavior that stems from it to his relationships always ended badly. That called for another drink.

Eventually, everyone abandons him, only to confirm the ugly feelings he was feeling, the feelings that brought him to alcohol in the first place, to take him away from himself. But the truth was, he abandoned himself. He just could not grasp that concept.

No one could have saved him, but him, unfortunately when behaviors are involved not too many people want to take on that challenge, I for one tried to but had my issues to sort out. He tried rehab, but if you don't get to the roots, nothing changes. Recovery is a deep knowing, an AHA, and the answer.

The long goodnight finally came for my brother last night, despite all his crazy making he brought to our family, he was always loved by my husband and me. I could no long talk with him because his energy overpowered me, but my husband til the day he passed was kind, loving and a friend to my brother. I know that my husband's generosity was my brothers only hope that life was good.
He passed with that in his heart. Rest in peace little brother; now you are dancing amongst the stars. <3

Love yourself "Addiction is the only prison where the locks are on the inside."

Standing on Shaky Ground!

When we feel hopeless or lonely, our first reaction is to move somewhere, anywhere but sitting with what we are feeling. As Pema has said, 'we don't want to go through the detox'.

We want to get away from these uneasy feelings rather than find the neutral in it all. We want something or someone to fix us, find us a refuge. But loneliness and hopelessness is not something to be solved. It is to be explored with an open heartedness. Life is constantly shifting in and out. Nothing is permanent. 

I like this quote from Pema; Impermanence is meeting and parting. It’s falling in love and falling out of love. Impermanence is bittersweet, like buying a new shirt and years later finding it as part of a patchwork quilt.

The next time you feel hopeless, lonely or filled with despair, do something different, reach for something that is not habitual in nature, but something that will help you discover more about yourself, your feelings and your soul connection to the ever changing life we have agreed to. We are here, and we never know when a shift will occur, but what we do have is our knowing, that this too shall pass and we will be just that much more awakened to life! Dolby Dharma

Not wandering in the world of desire is another way of describing cool loneliness. Wandering in the world of desire involves looking for alternatives, seeking something to comfort us—food, drink, people. The word desire encompasses that addiction quality, the way we grab for something because we want to find a way to make things okay. That quality comes from never having grown up. We still want to go home and be able to open the refrigerator and find it full of our favorite goodies; when the going gets tough, we want to yell “Mom!” But what we’re doing as we progress along the path is leaving home and becoming homeless. Not wandering in the world of desire is about relating directly with how things are. Loneliness is not a problem. Loneliness is nothing to be solved. The same is true for any other experience we might have. ~Pema Chodron

My heart is happy and full of love.

Spiritual Tool Box

Each one of us has a 'spiritual tool box' that has everything we need to keep us grounded. Everything around us is energy, and it is constantly shapeshifting throughout our day. Each person, place, and situation bring their energy into our vortex and vice versa.

It is not a right or wrong situation; it is just energy doing its thing.

Our spiritual tool box has an abundant supply of everything we need to raise our vibration and that of those around us. We have rituals, metaphors, and intention at our disposal all we must do is access them from within our heart space that beats out energy.

Performing rituals is an excellent way to clear your energy field especially if you feel like things are dark, or relationships are strained.

The ceremony I have personally used is the water in the glass ritual.

Spend a few moments each day to clear your energy, first thing in AM is great before you have encountered life.

Get a glass of water preferably one that you can always use for this ritual, fill it up. Now create a mantra (one of your choosing) while holding this glass of water in your hand. I like to say, "Please remove all negative and attaching energies and entities, cast them into the naked nothingness and fill me and all energies with the white light of healing and good vibes." I say, "Thank You," and "so it is."

You will feel lighter and brighter, I promise. There is something about taking the time to care for ourselves, more importantly very powerful to move your energy in that high vibration. Everyone benefits.

At the end of your day, pour the glass of water down the sink or toilet and don't forget to close the lid; Call upon the Universe/God to receive these heavy energies that are trapped in this glass and transform them into positive healing energies. Thank it once again!

Love is Divine, and you are Love and so is everything around you, after all, you have the tools to make it beautiful. Dolby Dharma

“Positive simply means unifying energies, while negative simply means separating energies. It's not about what's good or bad, right or wrong. It's about embracing what feels good and brings us closer to peace.” ― Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace

Happiness is YOU!

Today most of us will be around people and personalities to celebrate turkey day, for some, it can be a rough day.

Like yourself enough not to get sucked into conversations that are not of the highest vibrations.

Find your sweet spot amongst the celebrations today. Our friends and relatives came to celebrate themselves and us.

Own your inner and outer beauty by complimenting yourself without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled. You are a wondrous being of light and love without even trying.

Be grateful for all the people who contribute to your life. 
Happy Thanksgiving..<3 Dolby Dharma

“There is no greater power than to smile at failure, no more beautiful an ornament to your being than a genuine smile, and no beauty greater than the smile of peace and wisdom glowing on your face.”~Paramhansa Yogananda

Letting go and allowing Life's flow!

A long time ago, I almost drowned in a lake while on vaca. I am an excellent swimmer; I practically grew up in the water; pools and beaches were my refuges. 

Everyone was on the shore relaxing, and I decided to go for a swim. The undercurrent was apparently quite strong as I drifted far out away from the shore without realizing it until I got tired and looked back.

I realized I was in trouble and started to panic, I yelled for help and attempted to swim back. The more I was going nowhere, the more anxiety and panic set in. No one on the shore could hear me yelling; some even waved to me thinking I was waving back at them, after all, they knew I could swim.

Something came over me like a gentle breeze, a whisper, "let go everything will be alright." At that moment, I totally surrendered, stopped struggling, laid on my back, took deep breaths, relaxed and started to move my arms in a gentle backstroke towards the shore.

It was crazy how fast I ended up back to the shore effortlessly. That was a pivotal moment in my life for real. I swear, the Universal energy had my back, or it wasn't my time.

The only thing that is a constant in life is we are continually met with change and challenges; some we like and other's not so much. The key is to remain open, fluid and to stop struggling against the flow of life. 

Surrendering to 'what is,' is a knowing that 'it' will work out. Releasing how it is going to work out is how we enter the energetic shapeshifting streams of life. 

Having faith and trusting the process is how we stay connected to life's vibrations and believing the magic of life is on its way to support and serve us for our highest good. 

Just for today, let go and trust that you are being led and nurtured into the GREATEST expression of YOU! Be present in your heart, your highest self has your back. Dolby Dharma

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” 
― Eckhart Tolle

 — feeling the letting go and allowing the life flow!

Shower yourself in Love!

Thanksgiving is in a couple of days. Most of us are going to be surrounded by friends and relatives, some we see a lot and others on special occasions. A lot of energy and personalities will fill the room along with great aromas of foods.

There is always an opportunity to embrace SELF-NURTURING, but even more so now, everything is about NOW. In this moment of now, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precise as you should be. In this moment, there are limitless possibilities. In this moment, there is only now. In this moment, there is YOU!

Start to water the seeds of love within, open your heart mind with loving, appreciative thoughts. Shower yourself with extra care. Start by setting off your rockets of desire.

Maybe it is just a simple mantra;

May I be at peace with myself

May I be a loving presence

May I be whole and balanced

May I see only love.

May I take care of my body.

May I see the divinity in all I encounter.

What you give to yourself will be easy breezy to give and share with others when you hold space of gratitude for everything in your vortex. With all the boundaries that have been crossed because of the election and other issues; friends and relatives opposing one another this is the time to set an intention to Be Only A Loving Presence this Thanksgiving Day. Dolby Dharma

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at is destination full of hope."

- Maya Angelou

Out of your head and into your heart!

Note to self: Be kinder to yourself. Send out the vibrations you wish to experience in your life; that is the law of attraction.

What comes to you is the perfect opportunity to make it what you want. Remember we are always in tune with our emotions.

No matter who or what sets us off, we have choices. IN joy the beautiful you. Find all that is right, in you, around you, above and below. You are the Universe!

I shall no longer entertain negative thoughts or self-saboteur
feelings to zap me of my energy. 
I shall focus on all the unordinary, fantastic and kindness that is in my life.
I will think it, feel it, and speak it loving thoughts.
I will send out vibes of positive energy into the world. 
I shall be grateful for all the wonderful things it will attract into my life.

I am an open and willing vessel. Breathe the mental self-nurturing energy into the rest of your body. Get out of your head and into your heart. <3 Dolby Dharma

Never blame another person for your personal choices - you are still the one who must live out the consequences of your choices. Caroline Myss

 — feeling grateful.

What do you call yourself?

What do we believe to be true about ourselves? What do we call ourselves?
It is my interpretation of the quote below that once we classify ourselves and each other, our prejudices come flooding in, and separation begins. While traveling through the open field, the fawn has an 'AHA' moment; he realized, recognized and labeled himself, and then tagged Alice as being human, he runs off because of his judgment of Alice and decides they can no longer travel together.

The moral of the story: When we recognize each other as each other, we can begin to see only love!

"What do you call yourself?" the Fawn said at last. Such a soft sweet voice it had!

"I wish I knew!" thought poor Alice. She answered, rather sadly, "Nothing, just now."

"Think again," it said: "that won't do."

Alice thought, but nothing came of it.

"Please, would you tell me what you call yourself?" she said timidly, "I think that might help a little."

I'll tell you, if you'll come a little further on," the Fawn said. "I can't remember here."

So, they walked on together through the wood, Alice with her arms clasped lovingly around the soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out into another open field, and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air and shook itself free from Alice's arms. "I'm a Fawn!" it cried out in a voice of delight. "And dear me, you're a human child!"

A sudden look of alarm came into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another moment, it had darted away at full speed.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

To BE a warrior in your life means stepping out of other people's beliefs about what is 'normal.' The so-called “norm” is and always will be subjective and personal to each of us as it varies from person to person, after all, we all have grown up and processed life differently.

In so many ways we are live like the fable, Alice in Wonderland, we all grapple at times with our identity, our lives and the mundane of it all, asking ourselves, who am I, why am I here and where am I going?

Alice, before she fell into the rabbit hole, led an ordinary life, passively living her moments until a crazy hyper rabbit rolls by talking to himself; catches her attention.

The adventure begins. Alice was in for many life lessons and about to meet all kinds of objects, people, and situations that were NOT normal to her, nor did she understand them. All sorts of characters were about to tell her what to do and what not to do.

During all the mystifying events that took place around her, Alice eventually figures out how to take control of her circumstances and starts inquiring and asserting herself.

Life throws us events, people, and situations that we cannot always prepare for no matter who told us how to do things, react to situations and behave towards all the encounters in life.

Adventures in life are how we fall in love with ourselves and others. It is what brings us out, challenges our beliefs, gets us to think about the possibilities waiting for us if we are willing to 'step outside' the 'status quo' in life.

Life can be an awe-inspiring adventure; What is normal for me, surely will not be for you.

Fall down the rabbit hole and enter to the unknowns in life and discover more of who you are without your stories and discover YOUR wonderland! Love yourself enough to Stand up, Stand out and Get out, the world is waiting for you! Dolby Dharma

“But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend to be two people! Why there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!” 
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

The Perfect Opportunity!

Life can be chaotic at times, and when that happens we sometimes let our frustrations, anger, unfairness get the best of us when things are not going our way. Chaos is not always a bad thing, it can offer us an opportunity to explore options and other ways of reacting.

When life gets out of balance that is the perfect time/opportunity to lean in, and check in with ourselves, instead of pushing against, wanting it to be different and go away. When life throws us off it is a calling for patience and awareness.

Patience allows us to find a rhythm within to help us navigate and find our resources to feel the calm in the crazy making. 

The Chaos is about finding ourselves, not losing who we are. It is about anchoring oneself in personal “faith” and live more gracefully when people, places, and situations are feeling out of sorts. It is about finding our ground, steadying ourselves.

Chaos is a perfect opportunity to meditate, call our spirit back when the turbulence around us is making all the noise and confusion.

Ironically, chaos is also the perfect opportunity to shine, to react differently to the windy situations. We have all heard the expression, "When life gives you lemons, whip up a batch of sweet lemon aide". 

Three things to practice; Acceptance, this is happening now. Awareness, an opportunity to feel yourself in the mix. Playfulness, find the sweet spot in that moment of chaos, reach for a feel-good feeling, maybe it is just holding space for yourself. No matter what "shit" happens and it is up to us how it plays out. Dolby Dharma <#

“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.” 
― Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

— looking forward to the day.

The Fool on the Hill!

A little foolishness is a letting go, it might open a few doors within!

In the tarot deck of cards, the Fool number 0 is a very powerful card, a new beginning and an ending of something that no longer resonates with your life.

You are powerful and can reinvent yourself at a moment’s notice. So often people make fun of the fool, but the fool is the smart one, the fool doesn't care what you think, the fool lives his life per his terms. He is always prepared to step out and explore life. He is not foolish, but kicking back and letting go of how life looks and allowing its natural process to unfold.

The fool sees each day is an adventure and each moment is to be experienced, capturing unordinary moments. No time to waste worry and wonder who will approve or how it will look.

The fool is all about creating new experiences, setting a trail ablaze.
The Fool encourages to believe in yourself, follow your heart, no matter how crazy or foolish it might 'appear' on the outside to others.

Take heart today; the fool on the hill sees all things possible. Dolby Dharma

The fool represents the spirit within us, to be expressed and experienced as wonder, awe, curiosity and anticipation. We never know what is in the future, but we do know ourselves better than we think.
Trusting yourself, and not putting so much thought of how it looks to others affords you freedom to BE.

BEing a Fool lets the cat out of my bag, the wind out of my sails. The word comes from the Latin follies, meaning “windbag, a pair of bellows.” The pleasure of being foolish lies precisely in the freedom it gives from self-importance and social expectations; the freedom from striving, from the pressure to impress others, to do things the way others do them. ~From the book Seven Sins for a Life Worth Living

Who are we?

feeling whole.

Just now

Who are we? We are the sum parts of everything we have encountered on and in our life's journey. The paths we have taken whether we chose that road or not has influenced who we are.

From all the arguments, we have had, the good times, the celebrations, the unpleasant conversation, world events and the deaths of our loved ones, we have evolved into these moments.

We connect daily with all kinds of people and situations unconsciously; we are drawn from an unconscious place within to develop our souls and grow an aspect of ourselves that lays in wait only to reveal more about ourselves. Our dislikes, our beliefs and who we love are all extensions of our journeys and will continue to change throughout our lives with each encounter of life.

We are Divinely created from many moments in our lives. Moment to moment the "The Who AM I" changes us.

Do we know who we are, or is it just an idea of the self, we want to represent ourselves as? Maybe we are this incredible 'ONENESS,' we say we are; a little bit of every living thing and every living BEing. The next time someone asks you, "who are you," smile and say, "I am YOU always changing." Self-love is born from awareness!

Quoted from the Beatle lyrics; I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together! Dolby Dharma <3

“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.” ~C.G. Jung

"Swing within"

We are still basking in the Magical Super Full Moon energy, at least I am.

As the moon begins to decrease in size and move toward the New Moon in Sagittarius, it is a perfect opportunity to start setting new intentions, leave old limiting habits, beliefs behind, assess where we are, and focus on endless possibilities. The beauty of another breath brings a gift of another opportunity to begin again.

Time to nurture ourselves, go within, give ourselves permission to put ourselves first. All things, people, and situations in our lives depend on us keeping ourselves together.

If our foundation within is taken care of, we can handle when things fall apart, and they do. We need to care for ourselves in healthy ways, by nourishing our body, mind, and spirits. Let's fill our hearts by aligning our thoughts in divine order of priorities, self-care first.

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” – Carl Jung

 💙— feeling the energy of the full moon!

Super Full Moon Love!

Today's Super Full Moon is dynamic, mysterious and beautiful just like you. With the moon's illumination lighting the way, stand in your truth, open your heart and be mindful of just how powerful you are.

Let nothing disturb your inner-peace. That is your kingdom.

Find you balance and grace. Lights the path for strength.

Lead with your heart. A magnet for ALL love.

The universe is inside you, and there's always more to be revealed.

Be, breathe, notice, and allow the energies of the moon to heal and empower you. ~Dolby Dharma

You are the root of heaven, the morning star, the bright moon, the house of endless Love. ~Rumi

We don't have to suffer from anger!

Thích Nhất Hạnh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist. He calls anger a “habit energy.” A quick reaction to a situation or an event can trigger a response of anger. Just drive in your car and see how fast anger shows up, and how you respond. Zero to bitch happens to me sometimes, and when I become aware of that moment, I see myself, my behavior, not so much the other guy.

We need all our emotions to guide us and inform us about what is going on within and around us. Without this compass, we would be void of expressions and emotions.

Often we beat ourselves up with our emotions, naming them, and shaming ourselves with negative self-talk and expressing them upon ourselves and others.

Our emotional habits offer us opportunity to see ourselves deeply if we are willing to take a look with a compassionate heart. To understand that all our emotions are a part of knowing ourselves more and others too.

Most often the emotional triggers are deeply rooted in some storyline that we believe to be true about ourselves and the outside world.

Next time you feel anger towards yourself, someone, something or a situation, 'pause' if possible; that can be possible when you are aware that anger controls you in a lot of situations.

Anger is always pointing towards something about ourselves. It is an opportunity to see where we get hung up. It is a chance to react differently, to give yourself compassion and understanding.

Anger won't go away; it is a necessary emotional component of our humanness, it sets our personal boundaries, it wakes us up, and it comes and goes. With awareness, we can become unstuck in our ingrained habit of reactions and learn to express ourselves in a much kinder way. Karla McLaren says, when we channel emotional energy mindfully, it restores our boundaries and sense of honor. When mismanaged it dishonors all you are in contact with including yourself.

If you want to get in touch with what your feelings are trying to tell you, Karla McLaren wrote a fantastic, insightful book, 'The Language of Emotions.'

Practice peace even in a moment of anger! Dolby Dharma

“When you say something unkind, when you do something in retaliation your anger increases. You make the other person suffer, and he will try hard to say or to do something back to get relief from his suffering. That is how conflict escalates.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames

Govern your attitude or it will govern you!

Notice your attitude today; be aware of what triggers you and what brings you acceptance and harmony. Shift your perspective and see how things change.

Set an intention; it must be so powerful that no one situation can sway you from your intended path, and we will be tested, that is how the universe works when we set intentions.

When you come up against the reactive feelings that are about to shift your attitude, have faith, trust yourself, and allow those intention energies to anchor you in peace.

Attitudes are great when they are inspiring and uplifting; they can be shaped and modified to suit our moods. Find your sweet spot in life and share it with everyone you come in contact with today and see how it feels within.   Get out and be social today! Enjoy yourself. Nobody does it better! Dolby Dharma

Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped ~African Proverb

Acceptance!

When I think of acceptance, I think of mindfulness. When we consciously accept a situation that we have no control over changing we change our course of action; the biggest change is our attitudes towards the unwanted situation.

When we can't change it, do we lean in or do we carry on complaining about the situation 'as if' that is going to make it more acceptable?

The practice is not to push against the undesirable, not to tear it apart, but to become mindful of our existence to whatever it is that we can change and change what we can, quietly, without notice.

Acceptance helps us stay in the balance, stay healthy and steady. It raises our vibration and affords us the stability to make changes that can benefit us and everyone.

Pushing against life is what throws us off, and ultimately makes what we don't like worse than it already appeared.

By accepting life, it is to experience the rawness, the unaltered moments, to meet life as it is, feel the experience and make changes if acceptable. Some things in life cannot be altered, and that is our greatest moment of accepting 'what is,' and let go of the struggle.
Acceptance is Mystical, Powerful, and healing. It affords us peace within our hearts for ourselves and others. Dolby Dharma

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

Aren't you worth your own love and approval?

How do you define your self-worth? Do you view yourself through your looks, education, performance, material assets, etc.;? 
These are aspects of our wounded self, seeking approval that we are ok, we matter, we are accepted. If you find yourself always seeking the approval of the external to gauge who you are, where you are, if you are loved and why you exist, that creates internal anxiety which continues to feed the unexcepted self.

What are the signs; feeling anxious, unsafe, always apologizing for BEing you, afraid of making a mistake, giving your power over to another to steer your course and rejection of the self.

Waking up to ourselves is looking at the truth about who we are, what we do and who or what we give ourselves away to.

Seeking the truth is creating an inner bonding with YOURSELF. We must seek internal guidance from what we know to be true for us. Our answers lay in wait validating our truth, acceptance, and approval when we are ready to listen and trust ourselves.

We have all heard that tiny voice that we sometimes ignore because of our insecurities. Deep down we know that we allow the external world to control us in some ways. It is time to break free of the hold of other people's opinions, ideas, and beliefs and begin to love ourselves more.

When we start to trust ourselves more, our views of ourselves goes up, and we gradually stop seeking so much attention and validation from others. Believe in YOU, after all; you are your best friend who never leaves you unless YOU abandon yourself. Dolby Dharma

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson